It was so far down. I had completely forgotten about it. Covered with emotion, progress, strength and perseverance. Aged by years, matured with time. Tucked away and safely hidden within my soul, it has been buried deep inside the pit of my heart for way too long.
It.
Not a treasure to be found nor a secret to be kept, but a piece of me. A part of who I am, even though I’ve tried to avoid it.
A person can suppress memories or emotions for only so long. Just like a bear, it will hibernate until its ready to emerge and be fed. The question is, will it be fed with nutritious sustenance or with meaningless junk food?
It has been buried deep down for a reason. Contained in a dungeon, locked away in the darkest corner, and guarded by a gatekeeper. It has been protected and hidden down there for so long that we eventually end up forgetting it exists. That is, until it starts to claw its way out. It starts gradually, we may not even notice, but before we know it we are staring at itface-to-face and have a decision to make.
Will we confront it or will we fight it?
If we deal with it head on, it will be like maintaining a meticulously clean and rigorously healthy diet for the rest of our life. It will feel good, taste good, and sound good at first, but after a week we will be irritable and will crave the things that are bad for our soul. Battling against it will most likely lead to a temporary win that will be short lived.
It will want to scream and shout and though it may be suppressed for a bit it will come back even louder until we finally address what it’s taunting us about.
Which is difficult, to say the least. It was buried deep because I didn’t want to see it, feel it or hear it. I was intentional in neglecting it and made it my life’s mission to keep it hidden where no one, including myself, could find it or remember why it was there.
But that’s not what God wants. God wants to take what is buried deep in the darkness and bring it into the light. He wants to use our brokenness and all of the pain, suffering, confusion and strife we face so He can shape us back into His perfect masterpiece. Beautiful, whole, flawless. A work of art that displays unending grace and eternal goodness made possible by the one and only God.
“You used to be like people living in the dark, but now you are people of the light because you belong to the Lord. So act like people of the light.”
~ Ephesians 5:8 (CEV)
It may be a piece of you that is buried and forgotten in your mind, but God knows it exists and He knows exactly where to find it. He wants to take it away and make you you again. The you He loves and calls His. Remaining hidden or locked in the dark dungeon will only cause ruin or destruction to the progress God has made. In order to fully be His and to be like His Son, we must surrender each and every little “thing” that is masked, concealed or buried somewhere within our possession.
If there is something hiding deep within you, I pray you will bravely join me in the surrender of self and the acceptance of freedom found through Jesus Christ.
