This wasn’t part of my plan. This isn’t supposed to be my job or my responsibility. I am not qualified for this. I am not capable. I am barely able.
I feel like I am hanging on by a thread. Pressed, squeezed, crushed. Every little bit of energy, focus, and motivation is being poured out and the time to be filled up and replenished is more limited now than it ever was before. Mentally spent, emotionally drained, physically stretched, spiritually depleted. I swear, there is nothing, NO THING, left inside of me. I’ve said the word “can’t” more times over the last month than I have ever said throughout the entire course of my life. How will I get through this when I feel like I can hardly make it through the day?
Can you relate?
They said this Covid-19 pandemic is unprecedented and I believe it is unlike anything humanity has ever experienced before. It’s as if the world is standing still while minds are reeling with fear, anxiety, frustration, anger, impatience, and insecurity. So many questions invade our thoughts as we walk through the unknown and navigate this new normal.
What is the point? Is there a purpose? Why now? Why at all?
This current season is affecting everyone differently but there is one constant we can all learn from being told “no,” “can’t,” and “stop.” We may make our plans and think we’re in control of our own life’s circumstances, but it is the Lord, and only Him, who has the final say. He determines our steps (Proverbs 16:1) and the steps in front of us are ones we are destined to take. Our lives may feel on-hold, it may be hard to see the outcome or understand the purpose, but the truth is we were made for this.
Instead of being preoccupied with the “why” behind this pandemic we need to consider “who” and “what” we are living for. There is a reason we exist in this particular time, place and moment. Nothing was a mistake or an accident. Ephesians 2:10 tells us God planned for us to do good things in our life while Romans 8:28 reminds us that God is at work for the good of everyone who loves Him. God began a good work in each person who loves Him, believes in Him and lives their life for Him – He won’t stop His work until it is finished (Philippians 1:6).
Covid-19 sweeping the world may have caught humanity off guard but it certainly did not throw the Creator for a loop. This was all part of God’s plan for our individual lives as well as for our local communities and humanity as a whole. Even though I am frustrated and feel like I am being pushed and tested to my limit, I believe I will come out of this a different person, a better person. I believe the same for our communities and the world. We may be in survival mode now but eventually we will be thriving once again. We were made for this.
The Covid-19 pandemic is the “time out” we all desired gifted in a package unexpected and possibly, under appreciated. It’s a blessing Satan is trying to disguise as doubt in the One who makes all things new. It’s a present to actually have the time to be present with those we love. It’s that breath we long to take rather than trying to catch. It’s more than a moment to pause, it’s a place wide open with space to reflect, value and cherish the most important things in our life. Things we so often take for granted or allow to pass us by because we are too busy, distracted or blind to consider.
It is true. We were made for this. We were made for this specific time and particular situation. These circumstances are part of our story that was written long before any of us entered this world. God will see us through because He promises He’ll never forsake us. Instead, He will shape us.
We may feel empty, spent, and like we have nothing left to give. We may say “can’t” each and every day (and if you’re like me, sometimes throughout the day) but that’s okay because the reality is we can’t. We cannot do this alone. We need the fulfilling, sustaining, and powerful strength that only God can offer. He made us for this very moment, but He also made us to need Him.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
Staying home full-time trying to keep 5 young kids alive while figuring out how to homeschool amongst other things was not part of my plan but it was part of God’s. I have been praying unsuccessfully to be filled with the fruit of Spirit for the last decade while ingesting comfort food instead. My hopes and dreams may be on hold right now during this season, but I trust a harvest lies ahead.
I was made for this and so were you. When you want to give up, look up. God’s waiting for you to come back to Him and be reminded of your purpose. You are not a mistake and neither is this pandemic.
We were made for this.